You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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