Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
