Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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