He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
