I wannas sexs uuuuu
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
