In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
