Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Someone shit on the floor
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he thought i was a dude.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
