i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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