I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
