There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize