that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
