Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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