I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
