im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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