I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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