Someone shit on the floor
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
