Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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