just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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