u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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