its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
