never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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