You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
