yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
