I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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