The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize