I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
