moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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