Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There was a lot of him and a little penis
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
