We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
