Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
