the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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