i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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