porn star boner night. come get it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
