yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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