his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
