Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
