So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You may now shotgun with the bride
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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