When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am one with the molecules
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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