i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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