im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
