Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
