Please, let me fuck your mom
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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