That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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