Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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