We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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