Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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