I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
