what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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