How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
