And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize