SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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