Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
