found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
