drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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