i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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