don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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