used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
