i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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