Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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