guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
bring money and cleavage
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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