Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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