Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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